The Confabulista
April 05, 2009

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MacNChee1 So here's the deal: this isn't Orion writing, it's Rebecca. I've been lucky to have long been the cook-ee and not the cook-er. And while that sentence would make no sense if said aloud, suffice it to say that I've gotten rather used to being cooked for. While still unarguably spoiled, I do help out where I can, performing my duties almost entirely under direct supervision from Master Chef Orion. He tells me to stir something and I ask, "how fast?" Some might call me a kitchen submissive, but I've sworn to exert myself more. In the spirit of good nutrition and better health, I've taken it upon myself to amass an armada of vegetable side dishes that can help to tame even Orion's often decadent main courses. I get ahead of myself though; I should introduce myself first.

When I met Orion so many years ago, my appreciation of food extended only to admiring its ability to keep me alive. I was picky and squeamish. Finding sustenance was a hassle I wished I could avoid. I scorned anything with too many textures or just the wrong ones, shied away from spiciness in all forms -- even table pepper -- and turned up my nose if foods were found touching on my plate. I entered the relationship knowing how to make only grilled cheese, Kraft Mac and Cheese, mashed potatoes from a box, and ice cubes -- no, not even the clear kind. I could also make microwave popcorn packets without always setting them on fire. But that's the extent of it.

Yes, it does still confound me that Orion was eager to be the companion of someone so epicuriously bankrupt. However, I had recently moved to vibrant San Francisco and met this wonderful man, and I was going to enjoy myself no matter what I had to stick in my mouth to do it. No, don't be gross. Of course I didn't eat any onions.

Long story short: I've come a long way. I'm a convert to the ways of the gourmand. As my passions for San Francisco and Orion have grown, I realize I've also developed a passion for food. I now love eating. I'm intrigued by the way food can be playful. Or decadent. Or subtle and sophisticated. The way ingredients combine in the pan, or the plate, or on my pallet to create unique and exceptional experiences. Oh, and I can now make mashed potatoes out of actual potatoes.

I have sadly learned few other things when it comes to cooking. I can eat with the best of them, but with Orion around to orchestrate, I haven't really learned to make much from start to finish. There are these black boxes in my understanding. I pit cherries for Orion ---black box---> Orion serves pork loin with cherry chutney. I often tout my number one kitchen skill as the picking-apart-of-things and am the go-to gal for depitting, shucking, deboning, etc. A close second is stirring, which I do with gusto and the patience required for even the slowest of risottos.

So, now you know. I'm not some amazing cooking freak, and you shouldn't expect me to do anything untoward with pig's feet or duck tongues. I won't be conjuring up original recipes from the foodie ether. I'm going to hunker down, search for and execute some hopefully delicious, healthy recipes and accept Orion's advice whenever he offers it. Holds breath, crosses fingers, here goes.

April 5, 2009 in misc | Permalink


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I think you should devise a way to disguise onions as chocolate covered strawberries: finely dice onions, coat and secure them somehow in a strawberry shaped mold, and then dip them in chocolate.

Posted by: brian at Apr 6, 2009 4:43:11 PM

Great post Rebecca. I, for one, am waiting for your recipe for duck tongue mac & cheese.

Posted by: Jason Chafin at Apr 8, 2009 7:46:13 AM

Wonderfully funny, and oh so true! Love the little bit naughty reference to onions ... you devil! Hope to see more of your writings, along with Orion's.

Posted by: jongirl at Apr 9, 2009 9:36:24 AM


Posted by: Alex at Apr 10, 2009 11:32:02 AM

Hi Roomie! Do you still love blue cheese pizza? Great post and I hope you are well. I've been pouring over Orion's blog for years...I think i've gain 10lbs.

I think of you often. Click back if you get a moment.

deb taber

Posted by: debbie your old roomie at Aug 2, 2009 10:12:17 AM